Kirk vs. Picard
Posted by admin on July 1, 2009 under Fun, Uncategorized | 
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Ok, so if you’ve been over to Geek Dad you saw an article that hoped to settle the debate once and for all of who was the better starship captain, Kirk or Picard.
The only problem is Geek Dad is just way off base. So as a public service, I present to you the Geek Dad questions re-answered BubbleMixx style. Text in quotes is lifted from Geek Dad.
1. Leadership Style – “Kirk is brash; Picard is contemplative. Advantage: Picard.” Or so says 
Geek Dad. But consider this. Kirk was boldly going where no one had gone before, where as Picard was following dumbly along in his footsteps. Kirk had to deal with entire Klingon Empire, the Romulans, and more, while Picard had to deal with some cyborgs. Hell Picard got turned into a cyborg. Nobody ever turned Kirk into a Klingon, (except in disguise). Finally Kirk had military chain of command on the bridge, and listened only to his first officer. Picard had a kid on the bridge, the irritating Wesley Crusher, and if that’s not bad enough had a freakin’ ships counselor on the bridge too! Kirk would have blasted them both out the nearest airlock. Real Advantage: Kirk
2. Difficulty of Success – “I mean this from a character point of view: Captain Kirk only had to deal with being compared with Dr. Robinson from Lost in Space and captains from old sci-fi movies; Captain Picard had to handle being compared with Kirk. Advantage: Kirk” You’re damn right. Real Advantage: Kirk
3. Acting – “William Shatner is a lot of fun as an actor, but nobody can deny he’s a ham. Advantage: Picard.” Ok, while it is true that Patrick Stewart is a Shakespearean trained actor, couldn’t he at least do a freakin’ French accent? He’s supposed to be a French guy! I mean Peter Sellers and/or Steve Martin could do a French accent for crying out loud. Real Advantage: Kirk
4. Number of Lives Saved – “Since they each saved whole worlds on a fairly regular basis, though, I’m going to go by the amount of time they’ve spent on screen: Kirk was in 79 TV episodes and six-plus movies; Picard was in 176 TV episodes” ok, Geek Dad, that would be a valid point. But wait, almost half of Picards 176 episodes took place in the Holodeck, and of the remaining 88 episodes fully 1/3 were about not hurting someones feelings, a la Counselor Troi’s role. That makes it 79 for Kirk, 62 for Picard. Real Advantage: Kirk
5. Story Quality – “This may not seem like a fair comparison, because it’s a cinch that the number of talented writers wanting to work on TNG was much higher than the number who wanted to work on TOS. Advantage: Picard” Geek Dad goes on to list some less than stellar episodes of the orignial series, but does admit that there are some bad TNG episodes too. So taking that premise, if less than 1/2 of the TNG episodes are bad, say 45% (see my mathematical proof above), then that means Picard made 79 stinkers, compared to the 4 episodes that Geek Dad names. Assuming that Geek Dad only named 45% of the bad episodes, that means Kirk made 6 stinkers to Picard’s 79. Wow. You can’t argue with math folks. Real Advantage: Kirk
So there you have it, Kirk, is the clear winner. Hell the man doesn’t even believe in a no-win situation! He’s not going to get pushed around by some lanky bald Anglo-French guy.
That’s just not logical.
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